Breaking the fast, at night

So. I'm a huge fan of eating breakfast at supper times. Firstly, because I'm a lazy piece of shit in the morning, and can't stand slaving over food when I can barely hold myself up out of pure sleepiness. I might fall headlong into the frying pan, and that wouldn't be the best thing to happen. Secondly, which sort of ties in with my first.. you have time to appreciate it and cook it in the night. Things are more satisfying.. and you can generally eat more (well, I do, anyhow). Basically, breakfast for supper totally rules.

Note: I don't mean cereal, or fruit.. or smoothies. I mean a hardcore BREAKFAST. Eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, molasses raisin toast.. the regular standard breakfast of champions.


I learned, a couple of months ago, the fool proof way to fry an egg. No worries, I won't share it..because more than likely you learned those tricks when you were a youngster. But me, the young culinary grasshopper, has much to learn in regards to burners and spatulas, and eggs. It involves a decent amount of pam, a decent amount of patience.. and a magical burner that reads your mind. Some folks like their fried eggs runny, but I find it mildly creepy. Especially when toast is dipped in it.. so not a fan. ewww. (sorry if it's your favourite thing in the whole wild world. it's just nasty.)

Bacon, however.. is another story. I can never get the damn stuff right. It's either too crispy and bordering on burnt, or flaccid and sad. (Minds out of the gutter).

Any tips for a hungry baconator?!

Kitcheny times part 2

I bet you figured I'd never write another entry. You seriously did, don't even lie about it, because I can tell. (Well, I can't, but it did make you think for a second that I had super powers, right?)

Of course, another adventure in the kitchen to add. Another culinary high 5, if I were to be bold about it.

Beef Fajitas, with mexican rice & baked bananas-in-blankets.

First of all, this culinary delight happened last week (currently in Roddickton sans crockpot and sans regular groceries. Beckleton and I must be forced to be creative, and only bad things will result. I'll blog about these hard times after I've gathered my strength)

Secondly, I hate chicken. Well.. that's not really correct as it's what I happily ate this evening.. but it's something that's too much of a staple. I get that it's white and healthy, and can go with everything.. but I figure the reason it can go with anything is because it has no taste of its own. It has no independence, and is forced to live symbiotically with flavourings and food pairings. I often need something with a bit more bite. If I'm going to eat an animal, I may as well be able to taste that sacrificial thing. (By the way, I have never in my life considered becoming a vegetarian, and generally don't care about my foods prior lifestyle. Selfish piece of shit human? Yes. Grateful human? Yes, I clean my plate).

By now you're probably sick of watching me fight with myself. I'll stop and describe to you my fajitas, and how they were deliciously awesome. Again, I used Crockie. Things are so much easier when you can leave them for 5-6 hours. I also feel that the crockpot gives you a much more tender piece of meat, one that is more soaked in juices/spices/sauces, ect.

I bought a nice tenderloin steak, and cut it into pieces. Only the best for company. I made the pieces quite thin, as steak sometimes (especially when I cook it) turns out chewy. Next, I coated it with water, V8 vegetable medley (if you don't already know the secret to all things mexican/italian, V8 is it), and some chili powder/cumin/franks hot red sauce/other spices. I threw in some colored peppers, spicy pepper medey, and some chopped onion when I had about an hour to go cook wise. I cooked it until it became soft, and fajita appropriate.

(Aka.. by eating abut 1/5 of what was cooked throughout the day..)

I then whipped up some sidekicks mexican rice because 1) I was tired 2) I attempted other rice and failed 3) it's so EASY and DELICIOUS. You can't make everything from scratch!

I then mixed up salsa using a mixture of the sauce that comes with fajita box (had to buy a kit to score free cheese), salsa, chopped peppers, V8 and franks red.

So, when you factor in some shredded cheese and sour cream , fajitas served! Meat was still mildly chewy, but still good :)

For dessert, I made bananas-in-blankies, my personal favourite! To create these crowd-pleasin babies, you purchase some egg roll wrappers (most likely in the fresh foods section, after 1.5 hours at Sobeys told me), butter, cinnamon, chocolate chips, peanut butter, sugar & bananas.

I spread out the egg roll wrapped, and put some butter over it. Then, place the nanner in the middle. Previous to this point, I melt chocolate chips on the stove (don't forget to add 1 teaspoon of canola oil to keep from burning the chocolate) with 1 tbsp peanut butter. This mixture is then poured over the banana. Sprinkle in some cinnamon. Fold up your egg roll (ever watched subway make your sub?), and then pat some more butter on top (not shit tons, but just enough to make 1/4 teaspoon sugar and cinnamon stick.

Each egg roll wrapper takes about 1/3 of a large banana, give or take. Now, once you've made as MANY AS POSSIBLE (you know you wanna), spray a pan and place them in the oven. About 350 for 12 minutes or so, checking every once in a while. Take them out, they should be slightly crispy. Place some more of the melted chocolate mixture over them, and get fancy with some whipped cream like a boss. Now, you have a seriously sexy dessert! (And if Laura can make it in her super shitty oven, YOU TOTALLY CAN!)

Super= success. Lesson learned: do not wipe eyes after coming in contact with spicy pepper mix. You will cry, it will get ugly.. and you may pull a leg tendon whilst hopping around your kitchen.

Laura= 1, Failure= 0. Just sayin'

They say the easiest way to a mans heart is through his stomach. Although I've had many people contest me on this point, I thought I'd give this ol' saying a go and make a man friendly meal for the tired accountant in training.

This was actually (gasp) my first time having ribs or making them, and they only reason I delved into such an endeavour was because Sobey's has a deadly ol' sale on. I was actually in the checkout line, and some lady in front of me piled 10 packages on the belt, and was raving on and on about the good deal on the meaty ribs. I figured, unlike me, she knew a thing or two about cooking; so I went rib crazy myself (2.00$ per pound, get on dat). When I think of men, I think of ribs. Not that I picture skinny rib-showing men, I just picture men looking happy with faces/hands full of bbq sauce and ribs. Sorry boys, that's just how I picture you all..

Anyhow, for the ribs, I didn't really have a recipe in my mind. Generally, when I cook.. I think about what I feel should be in it. So for ribs, I thought about Worcestershire sauce. I'm not sure why, when I look back on it, since when I wikipedia what it is (hadn't used it before today) it's more of a fish/bloody mary sauce.. but it ended up in here. Here's basically what my sauce was composed of (no laughs).. I'm not giving measurements, because I added.. tasted... added more.. ect

-Worcestershire Sauce
-Soy Sauce
-Franks Red hot sauce
-Prepared Mustard
-Ketchup
-White Vinegar
-Brown Sugar
-Molasses (I know, what the fuck right? It just came to me)
-All the bbq sauce!!!!!!!!! (Sweet & sour kraft + steak bbq sauce)

So, pretty much a clusterfuck of every rib recipe one would think of. I heaped all this nonsense together, and threw it in the crock pot for about 6 hours, giving a little taste test every now and then. I also added a bit of cornstarch to set some of the sauce, so I could use it on my salad (Genius!). I was actually surprised how it all came together in the end; the ribs were decently tender and partially coming off the bones, and was quite tasty indeed. I feel very manly (and full) at present, and if I had balls I would most likely scratch them to emphasize.

The twice baked potatoes, however, are quite an interesting tale. I didn't realize to bake potatoes in an oven.. it takes an HOUR. AN HOUR! What are the potatoes doing in there? mating? winning prizes? who knows. Anyhow, I was running late and figured i might have to resort to just the pitiful salad as a side. Thankfully, Melissa (my sister who retains the ability to recall how my mom makes bay potatoes), reminded me to chuck them in the microwave. However.. one must poke holes in them to make sure they don't blow up in the microwave.

BLOW UP IN THE MICROWAVE?!?!?!!

I have an irrational fear of appliances. And the thought of a potato wildly blowing up in my microwave sending its white lumpy guts all over the place was not appealing. So I stabbed those buggers with a fork prong multiple times, so they had no chance of exploding or scaring me into an early and frosty grave. About 12 minutes later, they were soft and intact. Score.

I then cut them in half, and scooped out their guts, which I proceeded to mix with the ol' beaters with sour cream, milk, butter and other random epicure spices.. and cheese! I pour that into their empty shells, and topped with spicy peppers/more cheese. I then sent them into their warm ovenly home, and waited patiently for 15 mins. A little liquid like- but holy balls they were awesome!

For dessert, I cheaped out. I feel dessert is better left to professionals, so I indulged with some Costco apple pastries.. covered in whipped cream with steroid-infused, store bought blueberries.

I now am pregnant with a phantom food baby. It just kicked!

Anyhow.. for first blog entry, I'm pretty glad I killed it.

Beef fajitas tomorrow, happy eating :)

Ps: The man was impressed. He took home the left-overs!

I'm a regular mid-twenties mooch, one who grew up in a household where mom or dad cooked, I ate.. and there wasn't much reciprocating.
Cut to 6th year of university, when I realized my best cookery skill was perfectly microwaving a tv dinner (which does take practice, by the way, but that's besides the point).
Needless to say, feeding myself is a necessity (and so is making myself seem part Betty Crockerish to the man, right), so I'm going to learn.
I have crockie, my aptly named crock pot and miscellaneous tools and spices. My oven is generally finicky, so fancy desserts are out.. and only 2/4 burners work, so complicated things could get interesting.
Now, it's time to set forth on a journey to safe cooking and tasty eats.. in blog format with pictures!
Keep tuned for later.. on the menu today is spare ribs with twice baked potatoes. :)

Nakkumek!